Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Panties = found
Randomize
