Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
Randomize
