Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Your tits are I can't wait for
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
