he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Randomize
