I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Randomize
