So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
