i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
