His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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