yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Randomize
