apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
