I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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