Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
where are my eyebrows?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
