I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
