i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
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