Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
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