4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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