I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
how drunk are you?
Several
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize