i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
