i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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