I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
If I die, sorry about rent.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
