dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
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