That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
