I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
