operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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