we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
