You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
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