Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
