if you like me you must not know who I am
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I just want to make out with him forever
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
