I wannas sexs uuuuu
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
