how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
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