You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
