Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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