Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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