God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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