Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
