I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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