It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
