he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
