i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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