the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
