She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
