I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I think I died a long time ago.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
