so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
