thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize