last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
