I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Randomize