do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize
