Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
