Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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