at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
