so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
