and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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