Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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