dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Randomize
