Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
