Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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