Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
