so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Randomize
